My love. Stars in my night sky. I am so, so sorry. I knew the day would come where you would resent me. That I was inflicting a horrid cruelty upon you. But.. I found myself too selfish to try and end things with you. I was weak. My adoration for you was too strong.
I know what kind of woman you are, so I hope Quark took my request to heart and kept you from doing anything final. But even after the trial, no matter how it ended, I pray you continue- go to the stars, live fully. When I saw the dead you could tell I was upset... because it sprung a hope in me I could not afford. Saints, how hard it was to not tell you then. So many other times as well. I wonder if you noticed how my heart was quaking? I am not a good liar, I never have been. But I have some experience as an actor. And the way of acting over lying is... you pretend in your deepest heart it is real. During these last few weeks I convinced myself I would go with you. I wanted it, so so much. All I said to you and Quark was true. I ached for that future. I love you enough to keep living.
But if it is between me and you... well, you know me well enough.
I hope I can see you again, in happier times. But even if it is at the end of your chain I will be content.
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timeasmymeasure
Velvet
Date: 2025-08-16 08:33 pm (UTC)I know what kind of woman you are, so I hope Quark took my request to heart and kept you from doing anything final. But even after the trial, no matter how it ended, I pray you continue- go to the stars, live fully. When I saw the dead you could tell I was upset... because it sprung a hope in me I could not afford. Saints, how hard it was to not tell you then. So many other times as well. I wonder if you noticed how my heart was quaking? I am not a good liar, I never have been. But I have some experience as an actor. And the way of acting over lying is... you pretend in your deepest heart it is real. During these last few weeks I convinced myself I would go with you. I wanted it, so so much. All I said to you and Quark was true. I ached for that future. I love you enough to keep living.
But if it is between me and you... well, you know me well enough.
I hope I can see you again, in happier times. But even if it is at the end of your chain I will be content.
Ferdinand